Forging Your Own Path

Announcing Your Engagement:    
After the proposal you may want to shout to the world!  Take a few days to savor the moment for yourselves. Then who to tell first?  To avoid causing injured feelings, start with the people who are closest to you and work from there. We love the idea of the engagement party and it doesn't have to be some extravagant dinner party.  A nice get together with your favorite people to announce this most exciting event in your life can be fabulous at any location.

Newspaper Announcement:
To go the conventional route and publish your news in the local paper or is your families non-conventional?  Ask your parents, future parents how they would like to be mentioned in this important news release. There are many sample announcements we can help with. info@memoriesbanquet.com.

The Guest List:
You know the people you want to invite, as well as the people you feel you should invite.
Identify the number of people you would like to have at your wedding: budget and location
Compile your master list first- Combine your lists with your fiancés - Give the list to your parents and have them review and add their own.  From there you can add or eliminate guest.

Invitations & Stationery:
A wedding invitation does more than provide the facts on your event. It also offers a hint of what's in store for your guest, formal or informal.
Order invitations four to six months in advance, and mail them six to eight weeks before the wedding.
Not a bad idea to do a " Save the Date" postcard.  By mailing them six to eight weeks before, your giving yourself time for any returned in the mail that you'll have to resend.

The Wedding Party:
However you go about choosing attendants, understand that the job of a bridesmaid is serious business. Choose them wisely and early.  Before you decide on who you want to stand up for you, you might want to know what functions these people actually preform.  Maid of honor: helps with dress fittings, calls vendors and sets up appointments, cohosts showers with bridesmaids and helps bride with all personal items  Brides Maids: acts as second in command, helps plan showers and is in charge of ring bearer and flower girl. Best Man: plans bachelor party, sets up appointments for groom and ushers as requested, organizes transportation to and from the ceremony and reception for the couple and the bridal party, distributes tips to vendors on behalf of the reception host and makes the first toast   Groomsman: Seats guest before the ceremony, escorts the mothers of bride and groom to their seats  Flower Girl: Walks down the aisle before the bride in the processional and recessional, scattering flower petals  Ring Bearer: Walks down the aisle just before the flower girl carrying  a small decorative pillow with two rings tied to it

Planning and Executing the Ceremony
If you have the luxury of time, your wedding space you choose should be available for your date.
Let it be known that this is your day and, while you'll do your best to make sure that all the main players are included, you aren't a miracle worker.  You have enough to coordinate.  Your main focus at this point should be to decide when, where, who, how many, and how much.
To get the most out of your resources and plan the ceremony you want you'll need more information.

Planning the Date:  What's the best day of the weekend for you and your guest. It may be less expensive  on a Friday but will all your favorite guest be able to make it?  Saturdays are normally the best pick.
 Avoid Religious Holidays, travel cost are higher and most people would rather be at home with their families.
Steer clear of holidays like Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and the Fourth of July.  These days are some working people - mini-breaks.
Planning a wedding off seasons can also be tricky.  If most guest are coming from out of state try to choose a spring/ summer event, when weather cooperates a little better. Best months are March thru November.

Now comes the issue of ceremony location and type. The time-honored, traditional wedding is of course a religious ceremony in a house of worship.  In certain circumstances, a civil ceremony at city
hall or the office of the  justice of the peace has also been considered acceptable.
If you decide to go traditional in a house of worship, know that you will  need to follow their rules.

So what rules govern the ceremony itself?  Depending on the venue they all have different positioning of the wedding party, they vary from one religion to another.

There's formal Christian wedding: Groom, the best man, and the officiant stand in front of the altar.
The processional order: the groomsmen, the bridesmaid, the maid of honor, the ring bearer, the flower girl and the bride follows on the arm of who ever is giving her away

The formal Jewish wedding: the Rabbi, the bride's grandparents, the grooms grandparents, the ushers in pairs, the best man, the groom on his father's right and mother's left, the bridesmaids- individual, the maid of honor, the ring bearer, the flower girl and then the bride on her father's right arm and mother's left.

Guest seating:  Christian ceremony - the bride's family usually sits on the left, and the grooms family
on the right - opposite for Jewish  weddings -
Parents sit in front row and both sets of  grandparents sit  directly behind

Depending on your style, reception food can be anything from a barbecue in a rented barn  to filet in a 5 star hotel. There are many ways  to present your taste. Some options below ~~~~

~ The Sit-Down: It says elegant - begin with a cocktail hour, hors d'oeuves passed by waitstaff, and a 3 course meal

~ The Buffet: More conventional, less formal setting.  This option is less expensive since your not paying as much for the presentation or serving of the food.

~ A meal or Hors D'oeuves: If your wedding falls between the dinner hours or you just want a light affair, hors d'oeuves are acceptable. You may want to include a variety of hot and cold, served by waitstaff or buffet.

Desserts: Traditionally there's a Wedding cake.  Some may choose cup cakes or pie's. What ever you decide the guest will enjoy.  The bride and groom make the first cut and should feed each other a small piece, the rest is served to the guest.


Seating: The bridal party will sit at a designated central spot or bridal table.  Close relatives should  be seated nearest to the bridal table.

When everyone's been seated, the best man stands and makes the first toast, followed by a thank-you toast by the bride and groom.  The couples' parents toast next and  then  any others that wish to toast. Guest making toast should make their speeches short and tasteful.

Some traditions:  Do or Don't Do

Receiving line: A receiving line usually is formed after the ceremony or during the reception and is one way a bride and groom and their families can meet and greet their guest. But  what do the guest think of standing in line to shake your hand?  Maybe a visit to their table later  after dinner is a better way to go.

Garter Toss: Years ago it was tradition having a piece of the bride's clothing  was good luck!  Guest would ruin the bride's dress, frantically ripping off pieces of fabric.  To protect themselves from this assault, bride's began voluntarily throwing various items to the guest- the garter belt being one of them. As a result, the custom evolved, and now the groom removes the garter and tosses it.

Bouquet Toss:  Bridal brutality wasn't just preformed by the guys, female guests joined in, ripping pieces of the bride's dress and flowers in order to obtain some of her good luck. To escape the crowd
the bride would then toss her bouquet and run for it.  To get in front of this new trend, hand your bouquet to your best, unmarried friend.

Throwing Rice:  Rice has long been considered a symbol of fertility and prosperity all over the world.  You don't want any one in 4 inch heels to fall on the rice while wishing you well.  Try flower petals or birdseed.

Dollar Dance: This Polish custom has each guest pay to dance with the bride and groom. This tends to last a while and eats up your reception time. How about something different and still make extra money for the couple?  You could involve everyone: tell the guest the groom or bride was kidnapped and you need to collet ransom to bring them back - or make it a competition  between the bride and groom to see who ( in a certain amount of time) can collect the most from the guest.

The Cake in the Face:  Historically, feeding each other cake symbolized how the couple would "feed and nourish" the relationship forever.  Somehow this ritual evolved into smashing cake into each others face. What about the expensive gown, or the rented tux?

Bride and Groom's First Dance:  The first dance symbolizes the consummation of the wedding vows.